The only person, who can keep you from your money, is you.
There is something to be said for perseverance, effort, and giving a damn when it comes to getting any job done that needs to be done. Getting it done the correct way and being effective shouldn’t be a bonus, but it sometimes is. Needless to say, when it comes to collecting child support arrears – a job which most would consider being nearly impossible to get done when dealing with certain types of deadbeats, it’s easy to become discouraged and look for dads who are easier to bring in for the roundup for quicker results – if results in mass numbers is what is important to you.
Look, I’m unapologetically pro-woman and pro child support enforcement for the benefit of women and their children, but I’ll be the first one to say that CSE agencies are swamped. It is the primary reason that for the most part they have become ineffective. Caseworkers just do not have enough work hours in a day to touch on all of their cases and if you have one of those hard to collect cases, more often than not, you will get stuck in the contempt of court swinging door – your deadbeat doesn’t pay and all the CSE agency does is to file contempt of court motions.
Most caseworkers work hard to help you, but at the end of the day, they go home to their families and their own lives and your lack of not having enough spare cash to enroll your kid in an extra-curricular activity is no sweat off of their backs. Let’s get one thing straight – there is no person on the face of this earth who will ever care about your child support collection problem more than you do – except, of course, for your kids because Sally doesn’t get to take ballet and Paul is embarrassed that his Scout dues are late…again.
Only you can keep yourself in the dark.
If you have been working with CSE for a while then you probably have been back and forth in court a few times. You know more than anyone else that they will not, I repeat, WILL NOT share information with you. Even though it’s your case and the case is about your money and the money that rightfully belongs to you for the benefit of your child – even though we are talking about your own assets, they will not divulge any information that they have garnered about the other parent. It doesn’t matter if you get into full-blown deadbeat status here – willful non-payment by an ex who has assets and refuses to pay. It doesn’t matter if this is one of those cases that qualify for a federal child support evasion filing. They won’t tell you squat. They keep you in the dark. What’s worse is that they pretend to help you and placate you by filing those awful contempt of court motions when they know full well that in the majority of the cases, if the deadbeat actually gets arrested, that the judge will let him off with a slap on the wrist and a purge payment, which is very rarely, ever, ever, equal to the amount of the arrears. It’s a feel-good motion. They hope that you “feel-good” that they are doing “all that they can do.”
Raise your children because you only get one chance.
You only get one chance to raise your children. They only get one chance at childhood. Are you losing time to get them into swim lessons and art lessons and scouts and [insert whatever is meaningful to you and your kids] because the other parent isn’t doing his share and CSE isn’t doing enough to help? These are three of my tops reasons for being a mom who takes control of her own child support case, but believe me, I have more. Enough already with the kids getting the short end of the stick. One day soon you’re going to turn around and you will be out of time to do all of those things for them that you wanted to do – and that they wanted to do.
Look, being a kick-azz DIY arrears collection mom isn’t a cake walk. It means that you might have to put in a lot of energy (mostly mentally) and some time. Not a lot of time – but some time. It means that you are accountable to yourself and to your children. It also means that you are more likely to get paid than if you sit around and wait for CSE to do it. There is nothing more freeing than knowing that you don’t have to sit and wait to hear if CSE is going to come to your rescue. The hardest thing to do is to get started. Get started today.
Has CSE kept you in the dark about your ex’s earnings and other assets?
How long are you willing to wait for CSE to collect your arrears?
If you had all of the information that you need to know in order to collect, would you be a DIY collection mom?
Please comment below.
Wishing you the best,